Shard in Fairy Tail
by Fictions R Us
Summary: A guy known as Shard joins the guild as a sudden replacement for Natsu until he returns from an unknown journey. Once he saw Mirajane he fell in love with her at first sight but she only likes Freed in that way. He searches for a way to find her love that he wants.
1. Chapter 1 fairytale

{it begins with a person with white hair-spiky but soft- with a sword carried on his back wearing blue jeans and a polo shirt wearing Leva(Levi) shoes known as Shard}

Shard: "walking down the street with his arms crossed" Well here i am bored again. What should i do to pass the time? "he looks around seeing a poster with a fairytale sign" whats this? "walks over to the poster and takes it off the wall taking it with him as he walks down the street looking at it" hmmm... i know what i can do! I CAN JOIN THE GUILD! [the title occurs with Shard saying it but replacing Shard with me] {meanwhile at the guild}

Natsu: "walks out the door carrying a ton of things on his back" Alright guys! ill see you in a month!

Erza: Have safe travels.

Lucy: I hope you have fun! We'l miss you!

Mirajane: I wish you good luck!

Natsu: I'll come back before too long! C'mon Happy!

Happy: AYE SIR!

{Natsu runs off with Happy flying behind him then they run pass Shard seeing the poster with their symbol on it making them stop}

Natsu: hm? I see you have one of our posters. What are you trying to do? Join the guild?

Shard: well, yea. I figured it can solve my boredom problem.

Natsu: Well what can you do?

Shard: [speaks to Natsu inside his head] (I can do mostly anything that can involves the mind)

Natsu: Sort of like Levi... Hey! I know what we can do!

Shard: Huh?

Natsu: You can be my replacement until i return!

Shard: what?

Natsu: "grabs Shard's wrist gripping onto it and runs off towards the guild dragging him along as he screams in the background in a comedic way"

Lucy: "as she looks out the window with her head resting on her fist with her elbow on the table she notices a scream of Shard not noticing what it is" W-What is that?

{Natsu crashes through the wall right next to the door as he still grips onto Shard's wrist}

Lucy: You could've used the door!

Natsu: Neh. This way is cooler. Everyone i would like for you to meet Shard. He will be my replacement until i return.

Gray: we don't need a replacement. We'l do just fine without you.

Natsu: "rolls up his sleeves" What did you just say?!

Gray: "glances at Natsu with an unpleasent look like always" I said we dont need you and your motion sickness is always in the way.

Natsu: Why you little- "gets pumped up" YOU WANNA GO?! LETS GO!

Gray: "smirks and rushes up toward him with a slight yell as Natsu does the same"

Shard: "he walks off through the guild hall" I will not be apart of that in any way. "as he walks around he notices a bar from a distance so he walks to it and sits down at the table" Joining this guild was easier than i thought. "as he turns to the left he notices Cana drinking a giant barrel of liquor like usual" Hm? Well thats a drinker for you. I never tried drinking like that before... I might try it. "lets out a slight yell" OH WAITER?!

Mira: "she walks out of the employee door with her usual Mirajane smile and walks over to the table facing Shard placing the palm of her hands on the table" Hi! Im Mirajane!

Shard: Uh, im, uh. uh. uh, Sh-sh-shard. Im uh, the replacement of uh, "starts breathing hard" Give me a minute...

Mira: "giggles with a bright smile"

Shard: "slightly suffocating as he starts coughing"

Cana: "looks over at Shard and Mira"

Shard: N-Natsu. "huffs" "huff" Yhe replacement "huff" "huff" of Natsu until "huhff" "huff" he returns. "breathes harder"

Mira: Well allow me to show you a quick tour around the guild. {She walks in through the employee door into the kitchen and sees a giant mess with Freed wearing a chef hat and holding a spatula} Mira: Hey Freed?

Freed: Yes? "a raw fish drops on his hat sliding down his face"

Mira: Could you please show Shard a tour around the guild?

Freed: But i dont wanna.

Mira: Pleeeeeeeease, pretty please?

Freed: "sighs" Ok fine. "vanishes using letters like he always do and appears next to Shard" You, Shard. Cmon, im giving you a tour. "walks off"

Shard: What the? Ok? "catches up to Freed walking right next to him" So uh... Whats your name?

Freed: Thats none of your buisness. I dont know you that well to give out my name.

Shard: Ok. I understand. Well you know my na-

Freed: "points to his left" Theres the indoor swimming pool.

Shard: "looks to his left and sees the pool with alot of people in it" Wow. They have those?... {They both walk awkwardly in silence for a breif moment} Shard: So uh, how old are you? Im twenty.

Freed: Thats none of your concern. "points to his right" Theres the tattoo store and giftshop. You need to get the symbol tattooed on you soon.

Shard: Ok... So what magic do you use?

Freed: "traps him in a spell box that says, ask anymore questions and you will be in loss of oxygen"

Shard: "breathing hard" What the?! What is this!? "stars suffocating"

Freed: You would shut up if you knew how to read. Now, are you gonna stop asking me all these questions?

Shard: "nods head in pain unable to talk or breath"

Freed: "breaks the box" Good.

Shard: "breathing hard regaining his oxygen" Im sorry ... for annoying you.

Freed: ... My name is Freed. Thats all i will give you. Come. Let me introduce you to my trio. {Freed grabs the wrist of Shard and they both vanish using letters appearing to Bickslow and Evergree} Freed: let me introduce you to Evergreen and Bickslow.

Bickslow: Bleh "tongue noise"

Shard: The hell?

Evergreen: You must be new here.

Shard: Yea, im Shard.

Bickslow: Say, are you into girls?

Shard: Yes, of course. Bickslow: Oh i will be with you shortly.

Shard: Oooookaaaaay? Well my tour is over so i will see you guys later. "teleports"

Evergreen: He can teleport?

Freed:; It appears so.

[meanwhile]

Shard: "appears at the bar" And im back. "looks over and sees Cana from a distance" Hey look. The pretty girl is still over there. "walks to Cana and sits next to her" Hello. pretty lady. My name is Shard.

Cana: "glancees at him" Hey, im Cana. And arent you into Mira?

Shard: Yea. Howd you know?

Cana: I saw you dying over there trying to talk to her.

Shard: You know her? Whats her type of guy?

Cana: "holds up a picture of Freed"

Shard: -_-... youve got to be kidding me.

Cana: IF your trying to dte her i can help.

Shard: "grows shocked but yet surprised"

Cana: Yea. "gives him Mira's teddy bear" But you have to do something for me.

Shard: ok, what is it?

Cana: Give me 18 crystals that are above that mountain thats west from this guild. Can you do that?

Shard: Can you kiss me?

Cana: What?!

Shard: What!? Bye! "vanishes"

Cana:... MIRA! ANOTHER BARREL!

[meanwhile on the mountain]

Gaijeel: "plays a melody on his guitar trying to match his voice with the tone" Ooooh- no wait. "strokes his guitar" Ohhh no' dammit. You know what screw it. "strokes his guitar" Sheebadobah

Shard: "appears" well, here i am.

Bickslow: WELL LOOK WHO IT IS!

Shard: What the? "turns around" Hey Bickslow, what are you doing here?

Bickslow: You know, just hanging around. "points forward" Hey its Laxus!

Shard: "takes a closer look and sees him with a crystal throwing it up and catching it repeating the process"... (ill do that one last) Dont know about you guys but im off to find 17 crystals. Bickslow: What for?

Shard: ... Cana said she can help me make Mira like me.

Bickslow: OH, I SEE WHATS GOING ON HERE. Your trying to get old Mirajane arentcha? Look. "wraps his arms around Shard's shoulders" Just act like Freed but more non-scared of girls.

Shard: "sighs" Im guessing that Freed already won her over.

Freed: "pops out of nowhere behind us" Won who over?

Shard: "jumps" N-NOTHING! EHEHEHEHE!

Bickslow: Hes mad because hes jealous that Mira likes you more than she ever will with him.

Shard: -_-

Freed: why is that?

Shard:...i might of... sort of... fallen in love with her... at first sight. "looks down blushing"

Bickslow: "chuckles" Boy dont we all.

Freed: I havent won her over. I dont like her that way.

Shard: Yes you have. Shes in love with you so you did win her over.

Freed: So. Were never gonna date so you can have her. Shes all yours.

Shard: No. She loves you and it will remain that way for a long time! Maybe forever!

Freed: But you can change that. "places his hand on Shard's shoulder" You can make her love you more than she will ever love me.

Shard: "sighs" She is too good for me. You deserve her love more than I do. i will just get someone else.

Freed: But I dont want-

Shard: SHUT UP YES YOU DO! DONT DENY IT! "turns around facing his back towards Freed" You guys are wonderful together... "smiles" I can see it... Now im off to find the crystals. "walks off"

Bickslow: "walks behind him" soooooo thats it? Your gonna just give up? Quit?

Shard: Well, yea. Ill find someone else.

Bickslow: How did you know Mira liked him?

Shard:... I can predict someone's past by looking into their eyes meditating inside their head, but when i looked into the eyes of Freed... I saw Mira in a wedding dress... and him in a suit... Im 83 percent sure that that was their wedding... so Ill just go date someone else.

Bickslow: "takes out his Iphone and shows him a picture of Mira in a tight swimming suit" ARE YOU SUUUUURE?

Shard: "nosebleeds insanely causing him to drop falling to the ground" ...challenge...accepted... "passes out"

**well here is my first story and chapter. I hope you all enjoyed this! **

**Im planning on making this a series so there will be alot more chapters and alot more others stories i will be working on. I dont know exactly when the second chapter is coming out but i will make sure to publish it as soon as possible.**


	2. Chapter 2

At this time Shard knows everyone's name from the guild. He met everyone before the second episode started rolling... he did not finish the previous mission from Cana because Laxus' suspiciousness caused him to go to Cana asking why to send Shard the task. So now Laxus, Bickslow, Freed, and Cana knows about the way Shard loves Mirajane.

{it begins with Shard walking down the guild with Freed}

Shard: So Freed  
Freed: Yes?  
Shard: Who do you think i should marry?  
Freed: Hm?... Let me think.  
[it shows the two in chibi form as a giant thought bubble occurs]  
Freed: Well, theres Lissana.  
Shard: But theres Bickslow.  
Freed: Erza  
Shard: Jalal  
Freed: Lucy  
Shard: Natsu  
Freed: Cana  
Shard: Laxus  
Freed: Evergreen  
Shard: Elfman  
Freed:What about Levy?  
Shard: hmmmm... well why not... Gaijeel isnt doing anything.  
Freed: And why are you trying to marry someone right now?  
Shard: Not right now... I mean a girl to date and hang out with. I get bored way too often.  
Freed: *looks at him* Then why not find yourself a hobby?  
Shard: Because i want a girl in my life.  
Freed:...*looks forward and sees Levy* Well speaking of the devil...  
Levy: Hey Shard!  
Shard: you are so small and adorable arent you?  
Levy: huh?  
Freed: He wants to date you. *looks at Shard* there.  
Shard: *facepalms*  
Levy: Uhhh... Why all of a sudden? I only know your name.  
Shard: Isnt that the reason of the date? to know each other better?  
Levy: "blushes" Uh... I dunno..  
Freed: You guys have the same powers and everything... well... similar.  
Levy:... i... ill think about it. "vanishes"  
Shard: What the?... oh well...  
Evergreen: *walks pass the both of them in an angry manner shoving Shard to the side* Get out of my way!  
Shard: *catches himself* Whats wrong?...  
Freed: Elfman issues.  
Evergreen: Its like Elfman stopped paying attention to me like he used to.  
Shard: Then dump him.  
Evergreen: No... ill make him jealous. 

Freed: And how will you do that?

Evergreen:..."looks at me"... I know how to make him jealous.

Shard: Uhhhhhhh...

Evergreen: "walks up and kisses him roughly"

Shard: "his eyes widen"

Freed: "looks"

Evergreen: "breaks the kiss and walks off shoving him"

Shard: ..."looses stability"

Freed: Hey... Shard? You ok?... Shard?

Shard: "passes out"


	3. Chapter 3

{It begins with Shard still passed out hearing voices}

Bickslow: Sharrd? Shaaarrrrd?

Freed: Its not gonna work.

Bickslow: Is he dead?

Freed: No, just unconscience.

Bickslow: Hey...

Freed: What?

Bickslow: Lets Jack his shoes.

Shard: "He all of a sudden gets up grabbing Bickslow by the neck strangling him as Shard has his head down with the shadow of his hair covering his eyes" DON'T...TOUCH...THE SHOES! "a twinkle occurs on his head"

Bickslow: "a sweat mark falls from his head"

Freed: And there he is.

Shard: "lets go of Bickslow causing him to fall on the ground"

Bickslow: Hmph. Dick.

Shard: What happened?

Freed: Evergreen kissed you to make Elfman jealous then you passed out 5 seconds after.

Shard: If she's trying to make him jealous then why doesn't she make sure he's around, so that she could make it seem like she has a better time with me then they ever had?

Freed and Bickslow: SHES EVERGREEN!

Shard: Oh. (that makes sense) So... what you guys wa-

Bickslow: Up, Hold that thought. "as there's a window behind Shard showing Bickslow's car he walks out the door and goes outside into his car, turns on the engine, and drives off leaving a car tire noise behind"

Shard: -_-...

Freed: I don't mind doing something.

Shard: Wanna go for a walk?

Freed: Sure, why not?

[They both walk off into the streets]

Freed: So, your gonna give up on Mira?

Shard: Nah...not yet... I have to try.

Freed: Well then, to give you more of a way for you not to give up I should show you this. "takes out his I phone and shows him Mira's modeling pictures swiping through them"

Shard: How do you get these?

Freed: Mira always show me her latest modeling pictures. "quickly swipes through a nude picture of her"

Shard: F-Freed?

Freed: You saw nothing.

Shard: Did I just see Mira naked?

Freed: Your seeing things.

Shard: Freeed? Give me the phone.

Freed: "stretches" welp, I should be hitting the old dusty trail... "sprints off"

Shard: FREED! "runs after him as their speed is a complete match with Freed ahead of Shard making it hard for him to catch up" GIVE ME THE PHONE!

Freed: NO! IT'S MINE!

Shard: FREED!

Freed: NO!


	4. Chapter 4

"Shard loses his breath causing him to slow down but Freed is still sprinting his ass off"

Shard: "breathing hard" Screw it... "transports in front of him"

Freed: ...

Shard: ... I don't want it anymore.

Freed: Your lying to me.

Shard: No im not...

Freed: ...

Shard: Are we gonna walk or not?...

Freed: ...

{They both start walking in the street}

Shard: So why are you so protective about Mira's body?

Freed: She's the only girl im not THAT scared of... It's the least i can do... And besides, Would you want girls to see you naked?

Shard:... No...

Freed: And besides, you get all the girls right? Your pretty handsome yourself. You don't have to date someone in the guild.

Shard: But... I want Mira... It's hard.

Freed: Well then it is hard. You can't take care of her because she can take care of herself... "his phone vibrates then he takes it out texting on it as he's saying what he's texting" Yes, hi Mira. "puts his phone up" ..."his phone vibrates again causing him to pick it up" Yes Shard is here. "puts his phone up"

Shard: "his phone vibrates causing him to pick it up" Hi love... "his phone vibrates again with it saying from Mira, "I love you too friend." -_-

Freed: What?

Shard: Nothing.. Lets just continue.

{They both start walking again}

Freed: Say, how old are you?

Shard: 20

Freed: Ah...

Shard: "sees Erza from a distance" Hey, it's Erza.

{They both walk to Erza}

Shard: Hey Erza.

Erza: Just the guy I want to see.

Shard: Hm?

Erza: Im going to train you. So you can go through missions easily.

Shard: I don't need training, and you never seen me fight.

Erza: Alright then. Lets see what you got.

Freed: "watches"

**Shard charges at Erza with his right fist but she dodges him.**

Erza: Is that really what you can do?

Shard: ... Don't UNDERESTIMATE ME!

**Shard then transports behind her drop kicking her head but she dodges.  
Shard then transported to the side of her side kicking her but she blocked it. Erza then** **throws and rushes up toward him but Shard blocks and dodges her attacks. **

Erza: Maybe your better than I tought... So. I heard you like Mira.

Shard: Yes.

Erza: Do you like her or her body?

Shard: uhm... a little bit of both.

Erza: What do you like most in a girl? Their body?

Shard: uhhhh.. i don't know i guess.

Erza: "takes out her Iphone and shows him a picture of herself in a stripping outfit" So You would like me because of this?

Shard: Uhhhh... I dont know uhh... Yes?

Erza: "as soon as he responded she upper kicked the mess out of him in his face causing all blood to occur making him get knocked unconscience"


	5. Chapter 5

Freed: This happens every Chapter...

Levy: Is he ok?

Freed: Of course he is.

Shard: "wakes up"

Freed: See.

Shard: "closes his eyes back up pretending to be unconscience again and talks to Freed inside his head" (Hey Freed?)

Freed: (Yes?)

Shard: (You read sleeping beauty right?)

Freed: ... No, that is not happening.

Shard: PLEAAAASEEE?!

Freed: ("sighs" You owe me) He's ot waking up...

Levy: He's not?

Freed: Maybe you have to kiss him.

Levy: What?! How will that help?!

Freed: ... sleeping beauty...

Levy: W-Why me? Why I Gotta do it?

Freed:... Do you want him to die?

Levy: No... I guess... "slowly bends down to Shard hesitating and reaches her lips to kiss Shard's"

Bickslow: "pops out of nowhere" I GOT IT! "moves her to the side and licks his face"

Shard: "quickly gets up" AHH SICK!

Bickslow: Good, you woke. I need to show you something. "takes out his Iphone and shows him a website"

Shard: Huh?

Bickslow: I found this website called .

Shard: What the?

Bickslow: And I stumbled upon something that would get on your nerves...

Shard: No.

Bickslow: Yes... Look... I found this story with FreedXMira

Shard: -_-... I don't wanna read it.

Bickslow: Do you need me to Bickslow upper strike blow on you?

Shard: Uh, No.

Bickslow: Then read it.

Shard: But I don't wanna...

Bickslow:... "prepares his attack" BIIIICKSLOOOOW UPPER-

Shard: OK, OK I'LL READ! "reads it" ... I don't like it.

Bickslow: Too bad. Keep reading.

Shard: You don't control me.

Bickslow:... BIIIIIIICKSLOOOOOW-

Shard: OK, OK, Don't hurt me!


	6. Chapter 6

{it begins with Shard at his house waking up seeing Freed}

Shard: Hey Freed.

Freed: "reading a book" Hey Shard.

Shard: "gets up wearing his boxers" ... Im bored...

Freed: Hmmmm... Lets go on a walk then.

Shard: Sure. Just let me put on my clothes.

{they start walking in the street 5 minutes later}

Shard: A beautiful day outside isnt it?

Freed: It sure is...

Shard: "looks and sees one of those 5 year old truck things" Hey look. "they both walk to the truck"

Freed: ...

Shard: You wanna ride it down that hill?

Freed: Sure. Why not?

Shard: You wanna go first?

Freed: I don't mind. "gets in the small truck"

Shard: Alright... Here i go. "pushes him down the steep hill"

Freed: "goes down slowly" ... weeeeeee...

Shard: I...I thought it was gonna go faster...

Freed: ... "takes the truck back up" You use it.

Shard: ok? "gets in"

Freed: "pushes him down the hill using his feet"

Shard: "goes down slowly" -_-... "the truck stops"

Freed: Hold on, wait. "walks to Shard and pushes the truck a little too roughly noticing what he's doing"

Shard: AH! "the truck flips over making him fall out and roll down the hill into the highway with a truck coming towards him"

Freed: ...

Shard: FREEEEEEEEEEEEEED!

Freed: "sprints off"

Shard: "runs after him" COME BACK HERE! I ALMOST GOT RAN OVER!

Freed: I DID NOTHING! "sprints faster"

Shard: "sprints faster" STOP! I COMMAND YOU!

Freed: NO YOU DON'T!


	7. Chapter 7

{Shard appears at the bar}

Shard: Mira... A barrel please.

Mira: "smiles and gives him a barrel'

Shards: "drinks the whole thing"

**He's mad from that Freed moment**

Shard: Another.

Mira: "gives him another"

Shard: "drinks the whole thing" Another.

Mira: "gives him Another"

Shard: "drinks the whole thing" {he is now drunk}

Mira: Is that all?

Shard: "stares at her" Your not even concerned about my well being are you?! All you do is smile. Get angry for once!

Mira: "smiles"

Shard: Y-Your beautiful smile and your beautiful face and your beautiful attitude and your beautiful body!

Mira: Awwww. Thank you.

Shard: LOVE ME YOU BEAUTIFUL SEXY LADY!

Mira: "smiles" I love you too friend.

Shard: DAMMIT!

Mira: "smiles"

Shard: Mira..Mira..Mira..Mira...

Mira: Hm?

Shard: Can i stick my oinkle doinkle in your velvet underground?

Mira: "blinks twice" ... Were closed. "quickly shuts the bar up"

Shard: NO! DON'T YOU LEAVE ME! COME BACK! I LOVE YOU! LOVE ME SENPAI "starts crying"


	8. Chapter 8

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	9. Chapter 9

**It begins with Shard waking up in his room smelling delicious breakfast**

Shard: Mmmhhhhmmmmm... "sniffs the air and floats up along with the smell floating into the kitchen only to see Mira cooking then he stops floating and lands on the ground" whats this sexy- I mean, lucious, I mean good, i mean uh,

Freed: He means magnificient.

Shard: Yea magnificent... whats this magnificient food im smelling? "sits at the table with Freed"

Mira: I made breakfast! "giggles"

Shard: "whispers" This makes her 5 times hotter.

Freed: What?

Shard: N-nothing... I said nothing...

Mira: Well, Im off to the bar.

Shard: wait. Do you have to go?

Mira: Yes, It's my job. Bye!

Shard: Wait! I WAS WONDERING IF WE COULD HANG OUT TOGETHER!

{She already walked out the door}

Freed: Sure.

Shard: What?

Freed: I wouldn't mind hanging around.

Shard: "angrily sighs" Dammit. ( I was referring to Mira)


	10. Chapter 10

**It begins with Shard at the bar with his head down on the table **

Mira: "slides on over to Shard" HI Shard.

Shard: Hi Mira...

Mira: You need a drink?

Shard: I don't feel like drinking.

Mira: Aw c'mon. it's healthy for you. "slides some orange juice across the table"

Shard: ...

Mira: It's just orange juice Shard. It won't do anything.

Shard: ... "takes the juice and drinks it letting out a sigh afterwards" Thanks Mira.

Mira: Anything for a friend of mine. "smiles" Hey Shard?

Shard: Yea Mira?

Mira: April fools. "brightly smiles"

Shard: "jumps" W-What?! Mira? What did you doda me?

Mira: "smiles brightly" \

Shard: MIRA!? WHAT YOU PUT IN MY DRINK?! WHAT DID YOU DO TO ME?!

Mira: Oh nothing. I just put some viagra in your drink thats all. A really big dose of viagra. April fools Shard.

Shard: W-What? "looks down and sees himself highly aroused causing his jaw to drop" DAMMIT MIRA!

Mira: "smiles"

Shard: ITS NOT EVEN APRIL! IT'S OCTOBER YOU DEMONIC BITCH!

Mira: "smiles" Happy early april fools Shard.

Shard: "cries hilariously as he's bent over trying to cover himself" Dammit Mira.

Mira: "smiles" Yea, you'l be in that way for about two weeks.

Shard: "whines" WHAT i EVEN DO TO DESREVE THIS!?

Mira: "walks off"

Shard: "bangs his head on the table crying in an hilarious way"

**Music suddenly occurs called line in the sand. As soon as the drums kicked in Laxus appeared patting Shard's back **

Laxus: What happened Strawberry?

Shard: "crying" Mira put a big ass Viagra in my drink. now i'm aroused for weeks!

Laxus: HA! Sucks to be you strawberry!

Shard I need to give her payback!

Laxus: And how are you gonna do that strawberry?

Shard: Laxus, can you give me 2 viagra's?

Laxus: Yea, whatever. it's gonna cost ya. How much you got?

Shard: 60 on me right now.

Laxus: Sorry, 50 a piece.

Shard: DAMMIT! Let me get my wallet. "vanishes and appears 5 seconds later then gives him the wallet"

Laxus: Pleasure doing buisiness with you. "drops 2 viagras in his hand"

Shard: Thanks Laxus!

Laxus: No problem Strawberry.

Shard: "vanishes"

**Meanwhile in Freed's room **

Freed: "asleep"

Shard: "appears next to him and starts poking him" Freed?

Freed: "asleep"

Shard: "pokes him again" FREED!

Freed: ... What do you want Shard? "looks and sees him aroused causing him to jump back" AH! WHAT THE HELL!?

Shard: I need your help!

Freed: "has a disgusted look on his face" What the hell is that?

Shard: Mira put Viagra in my drink! IM STUCK LIKE THIS FOR WEEKS!

Freed: So everything turns you on?

Shard: Anything that CAN turn me on turns me on!

Freed: Which is...

Shard: Everything...Look, I need you to sneak and put this in her drink! "gives him 2 viagras"

Freed: You want me to risk my life, and ruin my trust with Mirajane? You couldve asked Bickslow to do this. He loves stuff like this.

Shard: GOOD IDEA!

Freed: Hey. I didn't say I wasn't gonna do it. Shall we get started? "vanishes"

Shard: Dammit Im so horny! SON OF A BITCH! "vanishes"

**They both appear at the bar where Mira was cleaning a glass with a smile on her face **

Shard: "appears" Hi! I got you some gr-

Mira: Hi Shard!

Shard: -_-... Hi Mira... Look, I got you some grape soda. "takes out the grape soda he had in his pocket"

**Freed sneaks behind the counter and drops the viagra's in her drink then nods his head at Shard telling him its done then he hides. **

Mira: It's Ok Shard. Thank you anyway. "walks to her drink and picks her glass up" I have a drink of my own. I appreciate it though. "drinks her purple drink"

Shard: "has a giant smile on his face"

Mira: Whats with the smile?

Shard: Does it taste funny?

Mira: N-no. Did you do something to it?

Shard: I dunno. Did I?

Mira: D-Did you?

Shard: You'l find out soon enough.

Mira: Shaaaaard?

Shard: "smiles"

Freed: "appears next to Shard"

Mira: "starts squirming with a blush all over her face with her breathing hard and her eyes squinched"

Shard: How do you like a taste of your own medicine?

Mira: "breathes hard" ... "collapses"

**Freed and Shard looks down at Mira from across the counter. **

...

...

...

**`Mira tackles the both of them **

**0.6 seconds later **

**It Shows Freed, Shard, and Devil Mira in the bed with them both holding the cover crying in a frightened manner**

**Just kidding! that didn't happen! rewind! **

...

...

...

Mira: "turns devil"

Shard: "eyes widens" Uh-oh

Freed: ...run...

**They both sprint off with devil Mira chasing after them with Shard and Freed screaming in the background. They jump out the window landing on the ground and keeps running hella fast with Mira hawking them down. **

Shard and Freed: BAD IDEA BAD IDEA BAD IDEA!

Freed: "trips"

Shard: FREEEEED!

Freed: Shard! SAVE YOURSELF!

**Freed gets pulled into the dark Abyss by Mira's arm as he was scratching the ground **

Freed: NOOOO!

Shard: FREEEEEEED! NOOOOOOOOO!


	11. Matchmaker Shard Part One

It begins with Shard and Gray walking the streets

Gray: Why are you always walking around?

Shard: No reason. I just walk around when i'm bored.

Gray: But walking around is boring.

Shard: Either I go do something that Mira would find out and fuck it up with her Mira ways or walk around. I choose walking, obviously.

Gray: Yea. That's Mira for ya.

Juvia's head pops up from a rock

Shard: You need something? "sees Juvia"

Gray: No. Why you ask that? And what are you looking at? "turns around"

Juvia: "ducks her head"

Shard: A rock.

Gray: ...Ok... "turns back around" Weird, but ok.

Juvia: "pops her head up from another rock"

Shard: So uh. About you and Juvia.

Gray: "narrows his eyes" What about me and Juvia?

Once Shard turned around it seemed to be a giant sharp ice crystal behind him floating there causing his heart to drop and for him to quickly turn back around

Shard: That you all should remain friends that's all! Ehehehehe!

Juvia: "quietly has a hilarious heart attack"

Shard: :peeks at Juvia" I MEAN UH UH UH UH!

Juvia: "stops mid process and looks"

Shard: You guys should go out!

Gray: What?

Shard: Look Gray. You ever think about Juvia?

Gray: Yes.

Juvia: "widely grins"

Shard: Sexually?

Gray: No.

Juvia: "dies"

Shard: "looks at Juvia dying"

Gray: But now that you think about it.

Juvia: "stops mid process and looks"

Shard:" releases his breath from relief" Look Gray. Give it a shot.

Music began to occur.

Shard: Wait.. No. NO! NO NO NO NOT NOW NOT NOW NOT NOW!

Once the beat dropped a lightning strike struck on Shard causing him to fall out. Laxus then appeared.

Laxus: Hey Gray.

Gray: Hey Laxus.

Laxus: Oh. "picks up Shard from his head" Hey Strawberry.

Shard: -_- Hey Laxus.

Laxus: So. What are you guys up to?

Shard: I'm gonna get Gray with Juvia. Get them into a relationship.

Mira: "slides in out of nowhere" Did I hear RELATIONSHIP?

Shard: MIRA! NO! NO! NO! YOUR NOT IN THIS SHORT! GET OUT!


	12. Nevermind

Shard: YOU KNOW WHAT!? FUCK IT! TAKE MY TITLE!

Laxus: Uh.

Shard: I'M GONNA GO... DO... SOMETHING... FUCK YALL. "runs off"

Laxus: ... Eh. Hey Mira?

Mira: Yes. I'm still going to bring them together.

Laxus: Oh... Hey Mira?

Mira: No sex Laxus.

Laxus: Oh... Thought so.

Gray: I'm going to go find me something to eat.

**Shard runs in the girl's dorm and runs down the hallway passing Levy's open door. He then jogs backwards back to look inside. **

Levy: "reading a book"

Shard: Levy!

Levy: "looks up and smiles" Hey Shard. What are you doing here?

Shard: "walks in and sits next to her" Sooo... Watcha readin?

Levy: My casting book. I'm trying to memorize as much as I can.

Shard: Oh. "closes the door"

Levy: Wasn't you walking with Gray?

Shard: Mira fucked it up. Fucked up the whole episode. So this is no longer Canan.

Levy: Oh.

Shard: "sits next to her and lays down" My lord yes. A bed. I'm tired of sleeping on the naked floor.

Levy: "looks down"

Shard: Levy? What's wrong?

Levy: It's just... You sleep on the floor with no mat or covers. I worry about you sometimes.

Shard: Levy. I watch you in your sleep.

**A flashback then occurred. **

Levy: "sleep"

Shard: Look how adorable she is. Just laying there and sleeping peacefully...

**He walked up and tried to kiss her lips but Erza opened the door before he did **

Shard: o_o

Erza: ...

Shard: 0_0

Erza: ...

**Flashback over **

Levy: So that's why you got stitched on your shoulder?

Shard: huh? "looks at his shoulder" Oh. Yea. She cut it off but Freed put it back together.

Levy: ... Things are always happening to you.

Shard: I got used to it. I was an orphan.

Levy: But you look nothing like one.

Shard: You look adorable. So kiss me because I'm horny.

Levy: -_- Your always horny...

Shard: Levy? Please.

Levy: "blushes" I don't know.

Shard: Just one for the one good time.

Levy: "blushes louder"

Shard: "looks in her eyes"

**Gaijeel knocks on the door **

Levy: "whispers" Its Gaijeel! Hide! "shoves Shard in the closet and shuts it"

Shard: "whispers" Hey!

Levy: "opens the door" Yeeees?

Gaijeel: Hey Levy.

Levy: Hey.

Gaijeel: You look suspicious.

Levy: I do?

Gaijeel: Are you hiding something from me?

Levy: No. Why would I hide anything?

Gaijeel: You sure?

Levy: Yes.

Gaijeel: Whose in the closet.

Levy: W-What!? Nobody!

**He walks in her room and opens the closet. It was all plush dolls and in the top right hand corner was chibi Shard's face having a big grin frozen in his place. **

Gaijeel: Eh. Close enough. "closes the closet"

Levy: "releases her breath"

Gaijeel: so Levy. How was your day today- - UUUAHH!

**He smashes through the closet and yanks screaming Shard out holding him by the head **

Gaijeel: What are you doing here?

Shard: What are YOU doing here?

Gaijeel: I asked you first. Why are you here? You could've been hanging out with Freed.

Shard: "talks high pitched" Freed? No. Who would want to hang out with Freed? He can't do anything anyway.

**Gotta go. I'll write more later**


	13. Chapter 13

**Meanwhile with Freed and Mira **

Freed: ...

Mira: "cleaning a glass" Anything the matter?

Freed: For some odd reason I wanna kick Shard's butt tomorrow.

**Meanwhile **

Erza: What...Are you doing... In the girl's dorm.

Shard: Levy.

Erza: "narrows her eyes" What! Are you! Doing in! The girl's dorm!?

Shard: Levy. I just told you.

Levy: Wait a minute. I just got that.

Gajeel: Lucky for me I can fly.

**He turns super saiyan and dragon dashes through the ceiling **

Erza: "yells out the window" You can't fly you idiot!

**Gajeel and Shard screamed as they fell in the lake. Bickslow was fishing and his fishing pole budged.**

Bickslow: Oh boy! I got a big one!

**He reeled up Gajeel and Shard and they flapped like fish. He then picked them up putting them around his shoulders. He walked to the house and went inside. **

Bickslow: We eatin good tonight!

Chibi Freed: "pokes Shard"

Shard: "coughs up water"

Freed: Their alive! Quick! Grab the bat!

**They both ran off **

Gajeel: ...Idiots

Shard: ...Indeed.

Gajeel: What were you REALLY dong in the girl's dorm?

Shard: I was walking around. Trying to find someone to sleep with. Tired of sleeping on the floor. Just trying to find a snuggle buddy, so I can be warm. So I can be comfortable. So I can touch a girl's body. And then I stumbled upon Levy...

Gajeel: ...You are werid.

Shard: I know.

Gajeel: Creep too.

Shard: -_- I've been told... Lets get out of here.

**Meanwhile **

Erza: All these boys are pervs. Always in here for no reason. First Gajeel, then Gray, and now Shard.

Levy: Well Gajeel is just... Here. For no reason. He doesn't care where he goes.

Erza: That's Gajeel. He doesn't count. "fixes her hair in the mirror" Shard and Gray? I have to teach them a lesson. "turns around" What were you guys doing anyway?

**She's wearing a cop uniform by the way. Since she's patroling the area from guys. A sexy police uniform. **

Levy: Shard said he watches me sleep.

Erza: Creep. He tried kissing you as you were sleep.

Levy: "blushes" He told me.

Erza: And you don't find that creepy?

Levy: Yes but think about it. Shard sleeps on the floor. Either that or he roams the night away thinking about things.

Erza: So your saying he's lonely. "closes the window"

Levy: ..."nods" Sometimes when I see him he has his head slightly down. Si I casted a spell that allows me to picture what he is thinking about. When I want to that is.

Erza: ..."looks out the window and sees Gajeel and Shard walking" What now?

**Meanwhile **

Gajeel: How can you get raped by a woman!?

Shard: She tied me up and used her abilities to pin point my pressure points to where i'm paralyzed.

Gajeel: ...That's messed up.

Shard: That's probably the only time I'll ever have sex.

Gajeel: "pats his back" Oh cheer up. There's plenty of fish in the sea. Just not in this area.

Mira: "pokes her head above a nearby bush"

Shard: I'll date anybody actually.

Gajeel: Why not date Lisanna?

Shard: Lisanna?

Gajeel: Yea. Mira's sister.

Shard: Mira has a sister?

Mira: "dials her phone"

Gajeel: Yea.

Shard: Oh...Fuck it. I just wanna snuggle and Levy is just adorable.

Gajeel: That's my girl Shard.

Shard: I'll get her first.

Gajeel: "narrows his eyes" I knew her longer than you was ever born!

Shard: I can read her inner thoughts!

**Meanwhile **

Wendy: "looks out the window" I think their fighting over you.

**Meanwhile **

Shard: Wait! Shh!

Gajeel: What? "looks around"

Shard: I just heard a small girl. And small girls are adorable.

Gajeel: Dude, your just... Psycho.

Shard: I'm Psychic. Duh.

Gajeel: -_-Not that kind of Psycho.

Shard: "sees Wendy and gasps" Look how adorable she is! Come here!

Wendy: Wait, what!?

Erza: Stop being weird!

Shard: Shut up! Wendy! C'mere!

Wendy: "blushes" Whose he?

Levy: His name is Shard Josephine.

Carla: Well "Shard" looks like a perverted freak.

Levy: How does he "look" like one?

Carla: He just does.

Shard: Erza hug me! Hug my face against your chest! Your soft and mushy cheast! I don't care if you have your breast plate on!

Erza: Shut up pretty boy, before I stab you!

Shard: Somebody hug me!

Juvia: "turns on the lights and opens the window" Shut up! It's 3 in the morning!

Shard: "screams and turns super saiyan causing a crater to form below him" What the fuck can I do to get a damn hug!

**Mira appeared hugging Shard from behind **

Shard: "blushes and starts crying silently" Mira.

Mira: Awwww.

Shard: "sobs a little"

Mira: "strokes his hair" It's ok Shard.

Levy: Is that... My casting book she has in her hand!?

**She turns around and sees that her book isn't there anymore **

Mira: It's gonna be ok.

Gajeel: Since when did this episode get all emotional?

Mira: Shard, I know how hard it is. To not be wanted. To be treated weak. For people to not and will never understand you and your ways. I've been through it too. But you have to live on because if you do, your life would get better. And if it goes badder than just know this. The bad things that happen in your life can only make you grow. Become wise.

Shard: ...

Mira: Are you alright Shard?

Shard: ...Yes.

Freed: GOOD!

**He runs up to Shard with his sword in his hand. He slashed his sword upward causing a slash wave to rush towards Shard causing shard to blow away screaming. **

Freed: THATS FROM YESTERDAY JOSEPHINE!


End file.
